Wednesday, February 18, 2009

One of Those Days

I know you've had them. The kind of day that nothing goes right? And no matter how hard you try not to get frustrated, well, you do?

So yesterday it started with the fact that I kept thinking it was Monday. The whole holiday weekend thing really threw me and I kept trying to get Monday stuff done, but would remember "No, it's Tuesday!" and get very stressed out because I was already a day behind. Now in all truthfulness I STAY behind, but still.

The first sign that it was going to be a bad day was when I walked into the kitchen and discovered that water from some unknown place upstairs had leaked and stained the kitchen ceiling. At the very least, the ceiling would need repainting. Forget the service call fee and the possibility that some major plumbing thing could be very wrong and costly- I AM GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE THE CEILING PAINTED AND WILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO REPLACE THE TEAL COUNTERTOPS THAT I DETEST. Can you tell I have been struggling with these countertops for a while? And that every time we get close to thinking about replacing them the money has to be used for something else?And you also have to understand that we have just had the house painted, rotten wood repaired, five windows replaced and a new back door put in. Not that you can tell any of the above has occurred from the street. But it has. And it wasn't cheap. Next time you come over please comment on the lovely non-rotted window sills. It will make me feel much better.

So being that I was already under duress over the ceiling, I was much more stressed about leaving the house on time to get to my Bible Study class. Unfortunately, instead of heading straight to class w/S which is our normal Tuesday routine, we had to stop by E's school to return Lily Belle the guinea pig who had somehow found her way into our home for the weekend. Needless to say, after covering up guinea pig droppings with wood chips all weekend, not to mention trying to keep Lily Belle and ultra-hyper Maggie the schnoodle puppy apart for four days, I was ready to return her to her Kindergarten class owners.

Have you ever thought about how one would transport a guinea pig from point A to point B? Well in case you haven't, it is isn't always easy. And the Rubbermaid tub with all the guinea pig paraphernalia doesn't quite fit if you try to hold it in front of you while trying to go down the basement stairs. Especially while trying to balance a Bible Study bag, a three year old and her coat, two bags of guinea pig food tied up with ponytail holders because you couldn't find the twist ties that came home on Friday, and a Diet Coke. Because I can't leave home without a Diet Coke.

Unfortunately by the time we finally made it to the bottom of the stairs and said guinea pig was nice and snug in the back of the car, I had kind of forgotten about the Diet Coke. And the fact that I had stuck it inside my Bible Study bag. Open. And then bent down about four times to pick up something I'd dropped. With the Bible Study bag on my shoulder.

One would think things would start to look up at this point. After all, enough is enough with ceiling leaks and spilled Diet Coke and guinea pigs and everything. But sadly, the story does not end here. As a matter of fact the day was so long it felt as if it would NEVER end. Regardless, after I dug through the 4 foot tall mountain of clean laundry that hadn't been put away because I thought Tuesday was Monday, I turned on the iron to iron another shirt. Now my iron has issues because for some reason if you add water to it after it is ALREADY hot, then the steam turns to something akin to watery mud. And it stains. So out went the 2nd shirt of the day and I ended up in some black sweatpants and a sweatshirt which totally didn't bother me, but was totally out of place in my Bible Study class of precious women who must not have to drop guinea pigs off on their way.

The day got a little better for a while, but definitely went downhill again late in the afternoon when S decide to say "DAT IS SOOOOOOOOOO STUPID" about 30 times in the car in front of eight little girls I was taking home from an after-school Bible club. Besides the fact the I am the teacher and would hope that the girls would not hear my OWN child using three year old cuss words in the car, this was S's 2nd offense of the day using this same lovely term. So I told S that she was going to get sassy sauce when we got home. Please don't call DHR- it's just hot sauce on the tongue. But to say that S is less than thrilled about getting it is a gross understatement. So S begins to scream at the top of her lungs "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I NOT WANT SASSY SAUCE NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And I could go on and on. And she did go on and on. For approximately 20 minutes as I dropped each girl off and bid them a pleasant afternoon.

By the time I got home, gave the sassy sauce punishment, gave everybody showers in the one bathtub we don't think is leaking and cooked dinner, I was done!


So today I start all over and am thankful for home warranties, forgiveness for frustrated Moms who ask for second chances and homes filled with love amidst the chaos. And I'm thankful for a God who just loves me...even me...despite the fact I am a total wreck at times.

Hope you have a great Wednesday that seems like Tuesday!


Monday, February 9, 2009

Whatever It Takes Lord...

I just had the most amazing experience with God. You know how some people will say, "God told me..." or "I heard God's voice..." Well, I had one of those moments last week...but for me, God may need to talk a little bit louder!!!

Okay, in preparing for mission opportunities in conjunction with D'Now at our church, I was asked to speak to a group of women about parenting/being a Christian mother. My first thought was, "'ve clearly never been to my house or talked to my children about this idea!" But I was extremely humbled by this and gladly accepted the opportunity, but was somewhat uncomfortable and felt terribly un-equipped. Within the next few weeks I was faced with a very difficult situation with my relationship with my own mother. One which she's not even aware of and one which I wasn't even sure I was ready to turn over to God or really willing to even pray about yet. I was smack dab in the middle of being a victim and vindicated in my anger and bitterness. Then my lovely almost 11 year old daughter (who is my clone, bless her heart) decided that she needed to take a stand, right on top of my last nerve, and dare me to find fault with it. She and I came to mental and emotional blows daily, which, for me, turned into spiritual blows every night when I would process my day with my Heavenly Father. During this time, I was feeling the self-made pressure to prepare for my "talk" and figure out what in the world I was going to say. So, I dove into the Word...looking for what God wanted me to share with these women...I read Proverbs about a mother's teaching; verses about being kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other and others about being imitators of God (Eph); verses about discipline (Hebrews) and then in Joel (who knew?!?) was about traditions of literally goes on and on! I flipped through old devotional books for "mothers" to find words of encouragement and the joy found in being a child of God, raising their children for God. I felt like I could give a good message, but felt so uncomfortable with being the messenger. At the very least I would start by explaining how I was the least likely women to share on this topic, but I knew it was good because it was God's.

Well, a few days ago, I got a phone call about the mission project and what my role would be that day. As it turns out, lots had changed and the day had gone through many different looks before it came to the most recent change. There would be no speakers that day. WOW! I knew right that second, with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes, that God is so amazing! I wasn't gathering information to speak to other women...God was speaking directly to me. He knows me. He loves me. And, He's comforting and encouraging me with His Words. He knows me so well that He knew I wouldn't take the time to do this for myself...but I would do this for someone else. He needed to speak to me, for me to hear His voice! And he spoke directly to my heart, and to my stubborn will, and to the daughter and mother that co-exist within my spirit. Oh, He is so good to me...please let Him be good to you! Seek Him!

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. JOHN 16:33


Friday, February 6, 2009


This morning as I was driving, God and I had a talk. It went something like this:

Me: "Lord, it is amazing how much you have taught me in the last ten is truly overwhelming. I mean, I never thought I would be a stay-at-home Mom and be OK with it, but that is exactly where you have me. And during that time, Lord, I feel like I have become more patient, more humble, less assertive and more gracious. I know that if I ever went back to work I would be a totally different person..thank you for teaching me so much during this season."

God: "I Love You."

Me: "I mean, God I totally recognize now that every gift and ability I have comes from you and was given to me so that You will be glorified. I have always known that was true in some sense, but I didn't really understand it completely. Thank you so much for helping me see that my life is a reflection of my Wonderful Creator. I have so much more freedom in my ministry now that I understand that."

God: "I Love You."

Me: "I love you too God and I'm sorry I haven't been as productive as I should have been this week. Please forgive me for slacking around the house and not getting the laundry folded. Also, I know I need to get caught up on my Bible Study today and I pray that you will help me to multiply my time and use it as wisely as possible."

God: "I Love You."

Me: "You really do just love me, don't You Lord?"

God: "I do love you."

Me: "And you just love me no matter what, don't you Lord? I mean, I know You love me, but You love me period. No conditions. Doesn't matter how much I do in Your name, how effective my ministry, how clean my house, how polite my children, how healthy my marriage, how much weight I've lost or gained...You just really and truly love me, don't You Lord???"

God: "Yes, I just love you."

Me: (sobbing as I'm driving and fearing I look ridiculous since I am alone in the car but not really caring)"You know, Lord, every other love I've ever known has been conditional, and even though I have always known You love me, it is really overwhelming me today. I mean you just love me and nobody else in my whole life love me likes You do and they never will. I so don't deserve that".

God: "No, you don't but I still love you and always will no matter what."

How Deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He would give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds that mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory