Monday, February 9, 2009

Whatever It Takes Lord...

I just had the most amazing experience with God. You know how some people will say, "God told me..." or "I heard God's voice..." Well, I had one of those moments last week...but for me, God may need to talk a little bit louder!!!

Okay, in preparing for mission opportunities in conjunction with D'Now at our church, I was asked to speak to a group of women about parenting/being a Christian mother. My first thought was, "Seriously...you've clearly never been to my house or talked to my children about this idea!" But I was extremely humbled by this and gladly accepted the opportunity, but was somewhat uncomfortable and felt terribly un-equipped. Within the next few weeks I was faced with a very difficult situation with my relationship with my own mother. One which she's not even aware of and one which I wasn't even sure I was ready to turn over to God or really willing to even pray about yet. I was smack dab in the middle of being a victim and vindicated in my anger and bitterness. Then my lovely almost 11 year old daughter (who is my clone, bless her heart) decided that she needed to take a stand, right on top of my last nerve, and dare me to find fault with it. She and I came to mental and emotional blows daily, which, for me, turned into spiritual blows every night when I would process my day with my Heavenly Father. During this time, I was feeling the self-made pressure to prepare for my "talk" and figure out what in the world I was going to say. So, I dove into the Word...looking for what God wanted me to share with these women...I read Proverbs about a mother's teaching; verses about being kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other and others about being imitators of God (Eph); verses about discipline (Hebrews) and then in Joel (who knew?!?) was about traditions of families...it literally goes on and on! I flipped through old devotional books for "mothers" to find words of encouragement and the joy found in being a child of God, raising their children for God. I felt like I could give a good message, but felt so uncomfortable with being the messenger. At the very least I would start by explaining how I was the least likely women to share on this topic, but I knew it was good because it was God's.

Well, a few days ago, I got a phone call about the mission project and what my role would be that day. As it turns out, lots had changed and the day had gone through many different looks before it came to the most recent change. There would be no speakers that day. WOW! I knew right that second, with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes, that God is so amazing! I wasn't gathering information to speak to other women...God was speaking directly to me. He knows me. He loves me. And, He's comforting and encouraging me with His Words. He knows me so well that He knew I wouldn't take the time to do this for myself...but I would do this for someone else. He needed to speak to me, for me to hear His voice! And he spoke directly to my heart, and to my stubborn will, and to the daughter and mother that co-exist within my spirit. Oh, He is so good to me...please let Him be good to you! Seek Him!

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. JOHN 16:33

~J

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good stuff JB! This is the way I feel every Sunday morning...God speaking directly to me. I'm not sure why those other people show up!

Love you!

Sherry said...

Oh, girl, thank you.

Lisa said...

It's amazing the way God teaches us, isn't it?! Super cool story.

Love you!

Blake said...

Awesome read Jen!
Love, Blake