Loved

This morning as I was driving, God and I had a talk. It went something like this:

Me: "Lord, it is amazing how much you have taught me in the last ten years..it is truly overwhelming. I mean, I never thought I would be a stay-at-home Mom and be OK with it, but that is exactly where you have me. And during that time, Lord, I feel like I have become more patient, more humble, less assertive and more gracious. I know that if I ever went back to work I would be a totally different person..thank you for teaching me so much during this season."

God: "I Love You."

Me: "I mean, God I totally recognize now that every gift and ability I have comes from you and was given to me so that You will be glorified. I have always known that was true in some sense, but I didn't really understand it completely. Thank you so much for helping me see that my life is a reflection of my Wonderful Creator. I have so much more freedom in my ministry now that I understand that."

God: "I Love You."

Me: "I love you too God and I'm sorry I haven't been as productive as I should have been this week. Please forgive me for slacking around the house and not getting the laundry folded. Also, I know I need to get caught up on my Bible Study today and I pray that you will help me to multiply my time and use it as wisely as possible."

God: "I Love You."

Me: "You really do just love me, don't You Lord?"

God: "I do love you."

Me: "And you just love me no matter what, don't you Lord? I mean, I know You love me, but You love me period. No conditions. Doesn't matter how much I do in Your name, how effective my ministry, how clean my house, how polite my children, how healthy my marriage, how much weight I've lost or gained...You just really and truly love me, don't You Lord???"

God: "Yes, I just love you."

Me: (sobbing as I'm driving and fearing I look ridiculous since I am alone in the car but not really caring)"You know, Lord, every other love I've ever known has been conditional, and even though I have always known You love me, it is really overwhelming me today. I mean you just love me and nobody else in my whole life love me likes You do and they never will. I so don't deserve that".

God: "No, you don't but I still love you and always will no matter what."

How Deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He would give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds that mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory


L