Monday, September 15, 2008

An Oldie, but a Goodie

I'm trying to put some of my "Loretta Stories" together...for a future bestseller...so here's an oldie, but a goodie...

The year, 1991...the season, Christmas...the boyfriend, Paul, new since September...the mother, same ol, same ol... Paul and I had been dating for about 3 months when I asked him on Christmas Eve, when I got off work at the Galleria (pause for groaning at the thought of working Christmas Eve at the Galleria) if he wanted to come home with me for Christmas. He said he would, I called home and checked with my parents...all was set. Now keep in mind, it's after 8:00 p.m. the day before Christmas. We get to my parent's house really late and go straight to sleep...Santa's coming! The next morning I spied 3 wrapped gifts under the tree with "Paul" on the tag. PANIC!!! I whispered in his ear, "Just so you know, those gifts weren't bought for you..." "Huh?!?" So I explained...my mom has a long tradition of re-gifting and wrapping random 'male' and 'female' gifts untagged under the tree...she keeps the tags along with a pen under the tree skirt so that when that impromptu visitor comes by with a gift she can run and "grab theirs" from under the tree. So, knowing the stores close earlier Christmas Eve, that she didn't even know he was coming until late the night before, and that she's cheap...I knew there was no way those 3 gifts were bought for him. The opening of the presents begins...his first gift, a cologne gift set - GUCCI - sealed in plastic overlay from Eckerd Drugs (tacky, but not too bad)...his second gift, a Precious Moments kitchen towel, beige, with the little boy and girl sitting back to back on a stump with "Love One Another" written underneath (YIKES!!! He's a 21 year old man...he has an apartment with another guy...WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?)...the third gift, a Hallmark ornament with two mice dancing on a piano with the caption "Our First Christmas Together 1990" (HELLO...It's 1991!!! Where did she even get that?)...but the good news is that we've been hanging that ornament on our tree every year for 14 years as our Christmas tradition and laugh...I highly recommend the laugh!

"J"

3 comments:

Just Us Chix said...

Keep em coming. Oh, and when you feel that nobody loves you, Paul must...he's still here!!! Luvs!

PHH said...

You guys have wonderful stories to share. So glad you're blogging! J, if you ever want to trade crazy family member stories, let me know. I have a treasure trove of ones about/generated by my grandmother.

Sherry said...

I just laughed out loud!! I LOVE these, please don't ever stop telling them!!